Randy Fine Isn’t Alone: Florida’s Legislature and the Art of Performative Cowardice

The Florida Legislature’s Evasion on Immigration and Randy Fine’s Theatrics

It is a peculiar, almost tragicomic spectacle when Florida’s Republican Legislature—heralded as a bastion of conservative governance—suddenly succumbs to a curious bout of political vertigo at the mere mention of immigration reform. This is the same legislative body that has marched in lockstep with Governor Ron DeSantis on everything from education reform to corporate accountability, often with the zeal of synchronized swimmers. Yet, when the governor pivots to address the pressing matter of immigration—an issue that has animated every election cycle for a decade—they transform into a herd of Hamlet impersonators, dithering and deliberating as if the fate of the Republic depends on their newfound hesitation.

But let’s not confuse their reluctance with a principled stand or, heaven forbid, a commitment to deliberative governance. No, this is cowardice in its most translucent form, a retreat masked as procedural prudence. For years, Governor DeSantis has turned campaign promises into results with a level of competence so conspicuous that even his most ardent detractors can’t help but acknowledge it (albeit through gritted teeth). From tackling rogue corporations to handling hurricanes with military precision, his administration has set a high bar for effective governance. One would think the Legislature, so quick to bask in the glow of his accomplishments, would seize the opportunity to support his immigration agenda. Instead, they’ve decided to debut a new act: Profiles in Cowardice.

The Legislature’s Evasion: An Olympic Performance in Excuses

Take, for instance, the arguments from House Speaker Daniel Perez and Senate President Ben Albritton, who solemnly declare it "irresponsible" to tackle complex issues during a special session. Irresponsible, you say? These are the same lawmakers who sprinted through legislation on Disney’s corporate overreach, COVID-19 mandates, and education reform during similarly truncated sessions. Suddenly, when the issue is immigration, these steely-eyed defenders of conservatism rediscover their affection for slow deliberation. How convenient.

What makes immigration different? Is it the complexity of the issue, or is it perhaps the inconvenient truth that acting decisively could risk alienating their corporate donors? Let’s not mince words: this is less about legislative integrity and more about financial dependency. One wonders if their hesitance stems from reading too many memos from their campaign contributors, many of whom rely on the status quo of cheap labor and lax enforcement.

Randy Fine: The Loudest Empty Vessel

Then there’s Randy Fine, Florida’s self-proclaimed “immigration hawk,” who struts about Tallahassee like a bantam rooster, crowing loudly yet laying no legislative eggs. Fine has dismissed Governor DeSantis’ immigration special session as “theater,” which is ironic coming from a man who’s entire career is political theater equivalent of Cats on Broadway—long-lasting and somehow still culturally irrelevant.

Fine’s career is a veritable masterclass in preening and posturing, peppered with regular reminders of his Harvard pedigree—as if his legislative inadequacies could be offset by his alma mater’s prestige. He is, without question, the Legislature’s loudest peacock in a coop full of roosters, forever flapping his wings for attention but seldom delivering results. One imagines him standing before a mirror rehearsing his critiques, oblivious to the fact that his own record is as hollow as his rhetoric. I know that’s a lot of bird references, but that’s mainly because Randy Fine himself is for the birds. I’ll shoehorn one more: He looks like the Penguin.

When Fine brands the governor’s agenda as “theater,” we have to pause to appreciate the audacity. This is a man whose legislative accomplishments are so threadbare that one could write them on a cocktail napkin and still have room for the waitress’ address and phone number. Yet here he stands, lecturing the governor on competence while angling for higher office—a House seat, no less, where one assumes his primary contribution would be to further inflate the chamber’s already considerable quotient of hot air.

Governor DeSantis: A Model of Effectiveness

In stark contrast to the Legislature’s dithering, Governor DeSantis has approached immigration with the urgency and precision it demands. His proposals—ranging from transporting migrants to sanctuary jurisdictions to expanding state enforcement powers—are part of a coherent strategy to assert state sovereignty amid federal inaction. These are not hastily scribbled plans; they are carefully crafted policies that reflect an understanding of both the issue’s complexity and its urgency.

And yet, the Legislature responds as if DeSantis has proposed alchemy rather than actionable policy. Their complaints of a “lack of detail” are not only laughable but emblematic of their infantilization. Legislators are not stenographers tasked with dictation; they are elected officials entrusted with the power to craft laws. If DeSantis’ proposals lack detail, the solution is simple: fill in the blanks. But that would require effort—a quality notably absent in Tallahassee these days.

The Broader Implications of Legislative Weakness

Florida’s Republican lawmakers have become a microcosm of a troubling national trend: a party more comfortable with posturing than policymaking. Immigration is not some esoteric niche issue; it is a defining challenge of our time, one that touches on sovereignty, security, and economic stability. If the GOP’s supposed standard-bearers in Florida can’t muster the courage to act, why should anyone expect Republicans in Washington to fare any better?

What’s at stake here is more than a single policy issue. It’s the very soul of the conservative movement. DeSantis represents what conservatism should be: decisive, principle-driven governance rooted in the rule of law and accountability. His critics in the Legislature, by contrast, represent what conservatism must never become: a hollow shell of platitudes and inaction, content to bask in the glow of past victories while avoiding the hard work of governance.

Governing Requires Guts

The immigration crisis demands leadership, not theatrics—action, not excuses. Governor DeSantis has shown what real leadership looks like, tackling immigration with the seriousness and urgency it deserves. The Legislature’s refusal to follow suit is not just a failure of policy but a betrayal of principle.

As for Randy Fine and his ilk, their antics serve as a cautionary tale: conservatism cannot survive on rhetoric alone. It requires competence, courage, and a willingness to make hard choices. Anything less is not just inadequate; it’s an abdication of the very principles they claim to uphold.

Governor DeSantis is leading by example. The question is whether Florida’s Republican lawmakers will rise to the occasion or retreat further into the swamp of cowardice and self-interest. For the sake of their constituents—and the conservative movement—they’d better choose wisely.