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🥢 “I Hate You, But I Hate Him More”: How Trump’s Tariffs Forged an Unholy Alliance in East Asia

🥢 “I Hate You, But I Hate Him More”: How Trump’s Tariffs Forged an Unholy Alliance in East Asia

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Croaky Caiman
Mar 31, 2025
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🥢 “I Hate You, But I Hate Him More”: How Trump’s Tariffs Forged an Unholy Alliance in East Asia
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It’s a rare thing in history when geopolitical animosity spanning centuries is cast aside overnight, not in pursuit of peace, not in the name of love, but because of a shared dislike and concern for one man. Enter Donald J. Trump — the only known force capable of getting China, Japan, and South Korea to say, "You know what? Maybe we can work together… just this once."

This week, the three East Asian giants—who haven’t had a joint economic dialogue in five years—met, shook hands, and agreed to “enhance regional trade cooperation.” That is a sentence no historian, strategist, or therapist thought they'd see any time soon.

Let me pause to explain why any reasonably attentive observer of East Asian geopolitics might find this moment bordering on absurdity. I’m not to deep in the inner workings of Japan’s contemporary political machinery post 1960’s—but I do possess a working familiarity with Chinese governance and Korean strategic posture. What I can offer, then, is the broad conceptual lay of the land—though I will be wading deeper into Japan’s current political trajectory if this emerging triad proves more than a fleeting oddity. I really would hate to be caught unprepared when history insists on misbehaving.

🧨 A Brief History of Not-So-Brief Hatred

  • China and Japan? Oh, just a few minor disagreements like the Rape of Nanjing, the occupation of Manchuria, and a simmering territorial dispute over a few rocks in the East China Sea. China has based an entire national curriculum around reminding kids why Japan is the devil.

  • South Korea and Japan? Well, there’s the whole 35-year occupation, forced assimilation, and, of course, the institutionalized sexual enslavement of Korean women as “comfort women.” Every attempt at reconciliation lasts about as long as a K-drama plot twist, especially with the Japanese tending to avoid the topic, or deny it occurring at all.

  • China and South Korea? Not as bloody, but let’s just say China’s growing hegemony and THAAD missile drama hasn’t made them brunch buddies.

In short, these countries don’t “get along.” They get even. Or they freeze each other out. Or they file diplomatic complaints. But they do not coordinate. Unless, of course, Donald Trump walks into the room with a tariff bazooka.

This is where it gets strategic. Tariff logic, global fallout, and what this realignment means. Subscribe to read more. I’ll also have a deeper analysis article just for paid subscribers who might be interested.

🤝 When Hatred of a Co-Worker Brings Everyone Together

You know that feeling when your annoying co-worker emails the boss on a Sunday night, CCs the whole department, and blames the team for something he screwed up? Suddenly, even the two people who haven’t spoken in years are sharing memes and exchanging glances in meetings.

That’s what Trump did on the geopolitical stage.

His trade war, allegedly targeted at China, wound up throwing global supply

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